Another Testimony...

One of the members of Tori's Bible Study group at El Reno Federal Penitentiary sent me his testimony. It touched on a lot of things we are talking about in our "Each One Reach One & Teach One" emphasis and was just too powerful not to share. Here it is:

July 31, 2011

Church,

God bless the very air you breathe… I am told by a brother, whom I hold dear to my heart that you would like to hear my testimony.

I am from Lubbock, TX. I am 33 years old. I have been in gang life since I was 13 years old. By that time, I already smoked weed and drank most of the time. My older brother schooled me in the street life and taught me to fight and sell drugs. Love was not expressed in my world the way that I hear other people talk about it. To this day, I still don’t know who my dad is. I never made it to the 8th grade due to a shooting I was involved in. I ran from the law and created havoc everywhere I went. I hurt people, lied, stole and used people to get my way. That way of life only has two for sure outcomes: death or prison. While most kids my age were at football practice or getting ready for prom, I was on my way to prison with grown men. Life behind these walls are not easy for anyone, let alone a kid.

The first time I heard about Jesus was in prison, and to be honest with you when you are around nothing but hate and violence, love sounds real good! I knew that I needed to change and I had a little boy to look after. I did not want my son to be anything like me. I wanted him to know his dad. I gave my life to Jesus, but no one explained to me what had taken place. Yes, I read my bible, but it made no sense to me. Once I was released from prison, I tried to live for God but lacked the power to stay strong. I backslid and allowed the enemy to lie to me. I turned on the only good thing in my life and returned to my old ways…

I have been in the Federal System since 2003 serving a 16 year sentence for selling drugs. While serving time at the maximum security prison “USP Florence Col,” I was filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke in tongues. I can boldly say that I have never been the same since that day! He has been the driving force behind all that God has done through and in my life. If you would have told me 8 years ago that God would be using me to teach known gang members, ex-drug dealers, murders, etc. the word of God, I would have laughed at you. But today it humbles me to tears that God would use someone like me to spread His word.

For the last 6 years God has been moving here in El Reno. We use to have Bible Study Sun. – Wed. out on the rec. yard. I preach every Thursday and every 5th Sunday in our Church service here. I’ve lead many men and a few women to our Lord, but I believe that my ministry is to those who are already saved and are trying to learn how to walk. I wish someone would have been there to teach me who I was in Christ.

In prison you only have your word, so you better be sure what you go around saying. I stake my life on the credibility of God’s unfailing love and power on a daily basis.

In closing, learn to trust in the One who formed you. God bless you and yours.

Your brother in Christ Jesus our King!

Jason
A.K.A. Joker

p.s. I am sending an “In Christ” confession so that you can start saying what God already says about you. Philemon 1:6
Read it. Speak it. Live It!

In Christ

This "confession" was sent to me by an inmate at the El Reno Federal Penitentiary. I will post his testimony soon.

In Christ I live and move and have my being! What a vast storehouse of power. In Christ my Savior and Lord I have life, energy, and strength for the impossible. I abide in Christ. I live in Him. He is the vine, I am His branch. The life of God is in me. His love is in me. Just like blood flows through this body, His life flows through me, and I will let His life and love dominate me. I am a new creature in Christ Jesus, my past is over, I’ve been forgiven, I have the ability of God within me. I am the Righteousness of God in Christ. My standing with God is secure. My prayers are always answered, and everything works out for me! Christ Jesus, my Lord is my wisdom, He is my Righteousness. He is my Sanctification. He is my Redemption. I have abundant grace, I reign as a king in my domain, in this life through Jesus Christ. By Jesus’ stripes I’ve been healed, God’s word says that 2000 years ago I was healed, if I was healed then, I am healed now! Healing belongs to me. He is greater than the devil. He is greater than disease. He is greater than any circumstance, and He lives in me! The law of life in Christ Jesus has set me free from sin, death, poverty, fear, and guilt, because I am in Christ. Through Christ, my Lord, I can do all things, He strengthens me, I cannot be conquered. I cannot be defeated, because I can do all things through Him. I am crucified with Christ. Yet nevertheless I live! And Christ lives in me. He was quickened and made alive, I was quickened and made alive with Him. I was raised up together with Him and made to sit with Him. I am seated with Christ! All my needs are supplied, He has already made provision for me. Everything I will ever need He has blessed me with. It is mine and I accept it now in Jesus’ Name!

Story Behind the Song

Horatio Spafford, a successful Chicago lawyer, penned the hymn “It Is Well with My Soul” after several tragic events in his life. In 1871, the Spafford’s only son died at the age of four. Shortly after his son’s death, Horatio endured the great Chicago fire, which destroyed all of his investment property and ruined him financially. Then in 1873, the family planned a trip to Europe. Horatio was delayed by business, but sent his wife and four daughters on ahead, promising to follow them in a few days. While crossing the Atlantic, their ship was struck by an iron sailing vessel and sank rapidly, killing over 220 people, including all four of the Spafford’s daughters. His wife Anna survived and when she arrived in Europe she sent back the telegram, “Saved alone.” Horatio left immediately to bring his grieving wife home. As he passed near the spot of his daughters’ death, he began to write these words:

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

In the midst of the darkest days of his life, Horatio maintained a deep sense of God’s sustaining presence. Stripped of everything but their faith, the Spafford’s moved to Jerusalem to begin a mission work there and impacted many lives with the message of our hope in Christ.

Whatever you are going through this week, may this song become your prayer. As you hold on to God’s promises, may you proclaim “It is well, it is well, with my soul!”

Tori's Message

I spoke about experiencing every dimension of freedom in Christ on Sunday. Deep in our bones we know that we were created to be free beings, which is why we react so strongly to bondage, slavery, and oppression. This week I received another letter from my friend Tori who is serving time in the federal penitentiary. The last time that I visited him, I told him that I don't want any more of our young men and women to end up rotting away in prison. We were created to be free. I asked him to share with our teens some things from his experience that might guide them in the right direction. The powerful message below is what he wrote. It is meant as a letter to our ROC Youth, but I wanted to share it with you because it is deeply connected to some of the things we are exploring in Romans 8. Continue to keep Tori lifted up in your prayers.

This is a picture of Tori with "the Christian brothers I'm really close with... my prayer group on the dorm."

July 6, 2011

The Family,

Hello everyone, my name is Tori Q. Hill, but everyone used to know me as Baby PB from Play Boy Gangster Crip. It’s taken me a long time to get this far. Seen things you may have never even heard of. I’ve done things I hope and pray none of you ever have to experience. At the young age of 22 years old, I’ve graduated into manhood by way of the penitentiary. A place I wish I’d never had to come to, and somewhere I pray to God in Heaven, that none of you ever have to see the inside of.

It’s hard times any time you do time. Whatever the security, whatever the yard, doing time is time. This is not for human beings, let alone grown men. I’ve watched guards let rival gangs kill each other. I’ve seen a man get his head pushed in with a lock over an argument. I know a guy who got stabbed over a cheese biscuit. Tension and bad vibes run the compound in the prison system. C.O.’s doing and saying whatever they want, men kissing other men. It’s enough to drive a brother crazy. Your line of friends and family, who will remember you, will also dwindle and even fade into nothing. You get a chance to see who really cares for you. You have nobody but yourself, God and those you least expect to make the trip to come see you. And trust me; “Homies” are not going to look out.

It gets deeper: When you’re in the cell, looking out the window, when everything finally sinks in, it can bring tears to any man’s eyes. He’ll tell you different, but he’s probably lying. Unless he enjoys being away from civilization and family, kids, mother and siblings, he’s felt the pain of hard time. The loneliness can break a man. The thought of that out date being so far away can eat you alive. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemies. This is not a life for anyone.

But, when all is said and done, I understand that this is what it took, like a lot of guys, to get me in the position to be used by my Heavenly Father. He may not have put me here, but He and I are positive that this experience will not be wasted. My siblings, I would like to be your sacrifice so that you gain from this experience. It is only fair that you get a chance to see that you don’t have to come here to know where the streets lead. This is my blood, sweat, and tears so that you may choose a different path. Don’t follow me little brother and young sister. Follow the right Way. There is more waiting for you than you can see. God has a beautiful ending for us all, even me. I’m not perfect. I wish I was, but truth is, I’m not there yet. Not yet. I know what I want. And I know where peace is and this it’s waiting for me.

After all the pain and suffering, after all the drugs, guns and street living, I finally know where peace is. I know how to fill that void in my life. God has given me another chance to live. I’ve been dead for so long, I am now home. Free from this mental prison that lurks in the street life. I refuse to be another victim any longer. What about you?

In the upcoming months, I’ll be writing you all to share some deep things. The way I see you guys is as family. So I’ll treat you like it. A few of my brothers would like to send their testimonies as well. If you are okay with that, then I’ll give them the green light. But I must warn you, there are raw and uncut brothers. 100% real, and now about Christ.

I grew up where you live. I’ve made a name for myself as a drug dealing, trigger happy individual. Now I know the damage I’ve done. The families I’ve destroyed. The lives I’ve taken. Sometimes I can see their faces. Hear their voices. Feel their pain. It’s not worth it. Never was. And now that I’m back home in Christ, I will forever love you – my younger brother, my younger sister. For my only wish is to stop the bloody beast that eats our young.

I love you and I’ll be writing soon. Take it slow and safe.

Love ~ Tori

p.s. I hope you enjoy the pictures. Would love to see some of you guys soon!

Living System Ministry

One topic that we have been discussing.

Introduction to Living Systems from EmmSanuel Gospel Center on Vimeo.

Speak Until Justice Wakes

(A recent reflection on Speak Until Justice Wakes.)

O Lord, give me a backbone as big as a sawlog,
And ribs like the sleepers under the church floor.
Put iron shoes on me and galvanized breeches,
And give me a rhinoceros hide for a skin;
And hang a wagonload of determination up in the gable end of my soul.
And help me to sign the contract to fight the devil as long as I have got a fist, and bite him as long as I've got a tooth, and then gum him till I die.
All this I ask, for Christ's sake. Amen.
~ Uncle Bud Robinson

cour•age (kûr′ij), n. 1. the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc.; without fear; bravery. The English word “courage” is derived from the Latin word “cor” which means “heart”, it in essence refers to one’s “core”, that is the very heart, the center, the core of one’s being. In order to take up the mantel of prophetic preaching that speaks truth to power, it requires a great deal of courage. We must be pure in heart, which as Kierkgaard informed us, “…is to will one thing.” Uncle Buddy Robinson’s prayer powerfully reminds us, this one thing is to stand with God against the principalities and powers; against the forces of evil, destruction and death in this world and fight the good fight of faith until the end. The core of our being must be cruciform; shaped in the image of Christ who is the Way, the Truth and the Life. In a time when it seems that many Christians have simply lost their Way, don’t speak the Truth, and are devoid of Life, we desperately need to hear the message of Dr. J. Alfred Smith, Sr. He is a man of great courage.

As Dr. Smith instructs us, this kind of Christ centered ministry will result in scars. What else would we expect if our telos is to be like Christ? We follow a wounded healer who invites us into the ministry of reconciliation, a ministry that inevitably leads to the cross. In this dog eat dog world, our Lord invites us to be sheep among wolves. We are bound to get bit. We won’t escape this world unscathed. “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33 NIV)

It takes courage to confront evil. We struggle not against what we can see, but against those unseen forces that invade our world. We need the Lord to strengthen us, to give us a backbone the size of a sawlog and rhinoceros hide for skin that we might stand up and speak until justice wakes. That we might speak “until wrong has been made right, till the oppressed have had their day in court, and until the truth can stand tall again, clothed in righteousness.”

The dehumanizing forces of evil devalue and destroy the dignity of God’s creation. Our future is embodied in our children. “No wonder the destructive forces of evil work visibly and invisibly to destroy the child.” I have come to understand that poverty is not a lack of resources, but a loss of hopes, dreams and a future. “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10:10 NIV) We need a wagonload of determination so that we may continue to speak light into the darkness, life into their dead dreams, and love into the depths of their hearts.

True justice recognizes the intrinsic worth of each person. It recognizing all as children created, valued, and loved by God. We work, in step with the Spirit, to value and give worth, to encourage and empower, to restore hope and a future. We must value testimonies over titles, the eternal work of God over the fleeting works of man. Rather than elevating ourselves above others, we chose the path of downward-mobility so that all may be built up into one body and empowered to love and serve our Lord. In Him “there is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male or female; for all of you are one in Christ.” (Galatians 3:28 NIV)

It takes courage to confront reality. Yet we know that even when the road is long and lonely, we’re never alone. Jesus is with us just as He was with the two discouraged disciples on the road to Emmaus. “Therefore we will not fear, though the earth gives way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging… The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.” (Psalm 46:2-3 &7 NIV) “When we come to the end of our earthly days, may we look back at the way we lived and conclude that we lived with courage, so that we might say with the apostle Paul, ‘We have fought the good fight. We have finished the race. We have kept the faith.’” (p. 4)

Beyond Cheap Grace

This is a message I shared on Friday in our Vine service. It is deeply influenced by my recent reading of Eldin Villafane's work and my own reading of Bonheoffer. Excuse the rough draft format, it is just some food for throught. I would highly recommend the book, by the way.

I have been thinking about this quite a bit lately… you know, they are putting up a nice outlet mall just down the road from us… with all kinds of high end, name brand stores… just what my wife needs, another place to go shopping. I got to stop saying this kind of stuff… I keep forgetting that she is in here and then I get myself into trouble. They are putting in the kind of stores with stuff that we can’t afford anyway… it never ceases to amaze me the amount of money people will spend on clothes, or shoes… or really anything for that matter… all for a label, a tag, an image.

It is crazy to spend that kind of money on this stuff… but, I wonder, how many of you have ever bought a cheap knockoff? Come on now, don’t lie to the pastor. It seems like a good idea at the time, doesn’t it. Our kids all want to fit in… they just have to have this bag or those jeans… of course, sportswear is expensive… if you kid just has to have Adidas equipment and you can’t afford it… the easy solution is to buy them some Abibas equipment…

or maybe they are more into Nike, well we’ve got that covered too… just buy Neki… close enough, right?

Jeans are the worst, I cannot believe the amount of money people will spend on a pair of jeans… you really want some Ralph Lauren jeans… it is a lot cheaper to get some Polo, Ralphi House pants…

you can’t afford Lee… no problem, just get some Lgg…

I really don’t understand what it is about bags or purses with you ladies… but if you really want that Gucci bag… I can tell you right now that the Cuggi one is going to be a lot more affordable…

and my favorite… items with characters can be the worst… don’t pay the extra money for snoopy, when snooby will do just fine.

You know, I remember when I was in junior high – those brutal, brutal junior high years, how many of you are glad that you are not in junior high anymore? – all the cool kids wore the expensive name brand clothes… but we couldn’t afford that stuff… I got hand me downs, thrift store clothes and knock offs… I ran track, cross country and played a few sports… that was right around the time when Oakley sunglasses got really popular… all the cool kids had a pair of Oakley’s… It was going to be a cold day in you know where, South Texas, wait what were you thinking… there was no way my parents were going to buy me $150 pair of sunglasses… and I didn’t have that kind of money… one day I found a $5 knock off… they were probably called Oxley’s or something… I thought I was so cool… but it was obvious that they weren’t real… they were just a little off… they were obviously a lower quality… and pretty soon the trademark “O” began to rub off… the cheap knock off is just not the same, and everybody knows it.

What I am concerned about, these days, is that many have bought into a cheap, knock off version of Christianity… do you know what I’m talking about? It is best expressed by this idea that Dietrich Bonheoffer wrote about. He called it “cheap grace.” Many of you know that Bonheoffer was a pastor in Germany during WWII. He was part of a Christian moment at the time called “the confessing church” that opposed the Nazis, and even at one point attempted to put together a plan to assassinate Hitler… Bonheoffer was arrested, thrown in prison, and executed by the Nazis… He is a modern day martyr.

In his book The Cost of Discipleship, Bonheoffer wrote: “Cheap grace is the deadly enemy of our Church. We are fighting today for costly grace…

Cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline, communion without confession… cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate…

Costly grace is the gospel which must be sought again and again, the gift which must be asked for, the door at which one must knock. Such grace is costly because it calls us to take up our cross and follow, it is grace because it calls us to follow Jesus Christ.”

You see, cheap grace Christianity is the kind that doesn’t cost much… It says, “Please don’t ask too much of me”; “Don’t place any demands on me.” As long as everything is going well and you’re blessing me, I will follow… I’ll believe… but when the going gets tough… when the road gets rough… well, I might just sit this one out Jesus. It is like we have a sign on the door of our heard that says “Do Not Disturb.” Jesus is knocking, inviting, calling… but we don’t really want to let Him in… because if we truly encounter Him… the same Jesus we meet in Scripture… He is going to mess with our lives… He will turn everything upside down… He won’t just leave you the way that you are… He will change you and rearrange you. If you are looking for the easy way… don’t become a disciple of Jesus Christ… it is not the easy way, but it is the only Way to the Father.

Too often we come into Christian fellowship to be entertained… fed… to get warm fuzzies… to get our needs met… and there is a good deal of that that happens in Christian community, there is nothing necessarily wrong with that… but that is a by product, that is not the focus… because that is all about us, but the reality is that it is not about me, and it is not about you, it is not about us, it is all about Him… and He calls us to something deeper.

The world doesn’t need a cheap knock off version of Christianity… a safe, soft, fragile version just won’t do! What we need… and what our world desperately needs is real Christianity… costly grace… one that has the marks of the cross in its hands! We follow a Jesus who said, “If anyone wants to come after me, let her deny herself, take up her cross and follow me.” That is the cost of discipleship… our life.

We would have to totally ignore our Bible if we are going to buy into the knock off version… Cheap grace flies in the face of the call that we find from Paul in Romans 12…

1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Renewing of our Minds: What is the pattern of this world? Selfishness, self-centeredness, greed, idolatry… do not conform to the pattern of this world any longer… but be transformed by the renewing of your minds…

Tony Robbins, the self-help guru, once said, “What creates an extraordinary life is an extraordinary mindset!” I don’t necessarily agree with all that self-help stuff that we encounter these days… but, I think that he is on to something here… only I would rephrase it to say, “What creates an extraordinary Christian life is an extraordinary mindset – the mind of Christ!”

That is what Paul writes in Philippians 2 that fits so well with this Romans 12 passage, He says… Therefore, have the same mindset as Christ… in other words think the same way that He did… have the same attitude the same outlook as Christ… Paul goes on to say, who was in the form of God… in other words, He was God.. on the throne, in Heaven… He deserved all honor, worship and praise from every living thing… the Angels worshiped and served Him, He had all power and all authority… but, Paul tells us that he emptied himself… and took on the form of a slave… wow… this is the Jesus I know… He had every right to demand respect, to require service from others… You can’t get any higher than God… He was at the top of the totem pole… and yet He humbled himself, He left it all to become a man… to take on human form… as a human, over and over again, he stooped down to serve… he reached down to touch the sick, the hurting, the lost… I mean think about it, he washed his own disciples feet… can you imagine, Jesus, the Lord of all Creation… the one who spoke the heavens into existence, who created the galaxies and all the billions of starts… who spoke light and color into the world… who made every animal, all the creatures of the earth… every living thing… bending down today, kneeling, taking off your shoes and washing your feet… we should fall down on our faces before Him… worship and adore Him, but this is the mind of Christ, Paul says… it is an attitude of humble service.

Not only that, but Paul writes… He emptied himself and became obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross… obedience to the call of God even when it hurts, even when it is hard, even when it costs us everything…that is the mind of Christ. The cross is the ultimate symbol of loving sacrifice… Let me just say, our everything is nothing… what to we have to give up is worthless compared to what we have to gain in Him… what does it profit a person to gain the whole world, but lose their own soul… we have so much more to gain that what we give… and He gave His life for us… I’m reminded of one of my favorite hymns:

The Wondrous Cross:

When I survey the wondrous cross

On which the Prince of Glory died

My richest gain I count but loss

And pour contempt on all my pride

See from his head, his hands, his feet

Sorrow and love flow mingled down

Did ever such love and sorrow meet

Or thorns compose so rich a crown

Were the whole realm of nature mine

That were an offering far too small

Love so amazing, so divine

Demands my soul, my life, my all

That is true grace… costly grace… do not settle for the cheap, knock off version of Christianity… the call of Christ is the call to give our all, to come and die with Him, so that we might live… anything less, just isn’t the real thing…

Paul goes on to say in Philippians, “Therefore, God also highly exalted him and gave him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bend in heaven and on earth and under the earth and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”

Real Christianity means that we are transformed by the renewing of our minds… to have the same mindset as Christ… so that we might offer our bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God… no longer living for ourselves, but living wholly for Him. Please, please, please… don’t settle for cheap grace… don’t stop until you find the real thing. Let me leave you with a beautiful blessing that I came across recently:

Benediction: May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.

May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and turn their pain to joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done.