This is a picture of Tori with "the Christian brothers I'm really close with... my prayer group on the dorm."July 6, 2011
The Family,
Hello everyone, my name is Tori Q. Hill, but everyone used to know me as Baby PB from Play Boy Gangster Crip. It’s taken me a long time to get this far. Seen things you may have never even heard of. I’ve done things I hope and pray none of you ever have to experience. At the young age of 22 years old, I’ve graduated into manhood by way of the penitentiary. A place I wish I’d never had to come to, and somewhere I pray to God in Heaven, that none of you ever have to see the inside of.
It’s hard times any time you do time. Whatever the security, whatever the yard, doing time is time. This is not for human beings, let alone grown men. I’ve watched guards let rival gangs kill each other. I’ve seen a man get his head pushed in with a lock over an argument. I know a guy who got stabbed over a cheese biscuit. Tension and bad vibes run the compound in the prison system. C.O.’s doing and saying whatever they want, men kissing other men. It’s enough to drive a brother crazy. Your line of friends and family, who will remember you, will also dwindle and even fade into nothing. You get a chance to see who really cares for you. You have nobody but yourself, God and those you least expect to make the trip to come see you. And trust me; “Homies” are not going to look out.
It gets deeper: When you’re in the cell, looking out the window, when everything finally sinks in, it can bring tears to any man’s eyes. He’ll tell you different, but he’s probably lying. Unless he enjoys being away from civilization and family, kids, mother and siblings, he’s felt the pain of hard time. The loneliness can break a man. The thought of that out date being so far away can eat you alive. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemies. This is not a life for anyone.
But, when all is said and done, I understand that this is what it took, like a lot of guys, to get me in the position to be used by my Heavenly Father. He may not have put me here, but He and I are positive that this experience will not be wasted. My siblings, I would like to be your sacrifice so that you gain from this experience. It is only fair that you get a chance to see that you don’t have to come here to know where the streets lead. This is my blood, sweat, and tears so that you may choose a different path. Don’t follow me little brother and young sister. Follow the right Way. There is more waiting for you than you can see. God has a beautiful ending for us all, even me. I’m not perfect. I wish I was, but truth is, I’m not there yet. Not yet. I know what I want. And I know where peace is and this it’s waiting for me.
After all the pain and suffering, after all the drugs, guns and street living, I finally know where peace is. I know how to fill that void in my life. God has given me another chance to live. I’ve been dead for so long, I am now home. Free from this mental prison that lurks in the street life. I refuse to be another victim any longer. What about you?
In the upcoming months, I’ll be writing you all to share some deep things. The way I see you guys is as family. So I’ll treat you like it. A few of my brothers would like to send their testimonies as well. If you are okay with that, then I’ll give them the green light. But I must warn you, there are raw and uncut brothers. 100% real, and now about Christ.
I grew up where you live. I’ve made a name for myself as a drug dealing, trigger happy individual. Now I know the damage I’ve done. The families I’ve destroyed. The lives I’ve taken. Sometimes I can see their faces. Hear their voices. Feel their pain. It’s not worth it. Never was. And now that I’m back home in Christ, I will forever love you – my younger brother, my younger sister. For my only wish is to stop the bloody beast that eats our young.
I love you and I’ll be writing soon. Take it slow and safe.
Love ~ Tori
p.s. I hope you enjoy the pictures. Would love to see some of you guys soon!
Hello everyone, my name is Tori Q. Hill, but everyone used to know me as Baby PB from Play Boy Gangster Crip. It’s taken me a long time to get this far. Seen things you may have never even heard of. I’ve done things I hope and pray none of you ever have to experience. At the young age of 22 years old, I’ve graduated into manhood by way of the penitentiary. A place I wish I’d never had to come to, and somewhere I pray to God in Heaven, that none of you ever have to see the inside of.
It’s hard times any time you do time. Whatever the security, whatever the yard, doing time is time. This is not for human beings, let alone grown men. I’ve watched guards let rival gangs kill each other. I’ve seen a man get his head pushed in with a lock over an argument. I know a guy who got stabbed over a cheese biscuit. Tension and bad vibes run the compound in the prison system. C.O.’s doing and saying whatever they want, men kissing other men. It’s enough to drive a brother crazy. Your line of friends and family, who will remember you, will also dwindle and even fade into nothing. You get a chance to see who really cares for you. You have nobody but yourself, God and those you least expect to make the trip to come see you. And trust me; “Homies” are not going to look out.
It gets deeper: When you’re in the cell, looking out the window, when everything finally sinks in, it can bring tears to any man’s eyes. He’ll tell you different, but he’s probably lying. Unless he enjoys being away from civilization and family, kids, mother and siblings, he’s felt the pain of hard time. The loneliness can break a man. The thought of that out date being so far away can eat you alive. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemies. This is not a life for anyone.
But, when all is said and done, I understand that this is what it took, like a lot of guys, to get me in the position to be used by my Heavenly Father. He may not have put me here, but He and I are positive that this experience will not be wasted. My siblings, I would like to be your sacrifice so that you gain from this experience. It is only fair that you get a chance to see that you don’t have to come here to know where the streets lead. This is my blood, sweat, and tears so that you may choose a different path. Don’t follow me little brother and young sister. Follow the right Way. There is more waiting for you than you can see. God has a beautiful ending for us all, even me. I’m not perfect. I wish I was, but truth is, I’m not there yet. Not yet. I know what I want. And I know where peace is and this it’s waiting for me.
After all the pain and suffering, after all the drugs, guns and street living, I finally know where peace is. I know how to fill that void in my life. God has given me another chance to live. I’ve been dead for so long, I am now home. Free from this mental prison that lurks in the street life. I refuse to be another victim any longer. What about you?
In the upcoming months, I’ll be writing you all to share some deep things. The way I see you guys is as family. So I’ll treat you like it. A few of my brothers would like to send their testimonies as well. If you are okay with that, then I’ll give them the green light. But I must warn you, there are raw and uncut brothers. 100% real, and now about Christ.
I grew up where you live. I’ve made a name for myself as a drug dealing, trigger happy individual. Now I know the damage I’ve done. The families I’ve destroyed. The lives I’ve taken. Sometimes I can see their faces. Hear their voices. Feel their pain. It’s not worth it. Never was. And now that I’m back home in Christ, I will forever love you – my younger brother, my younger sister. For my only wish is to stop the bloody beast that eats our young.
I love you and I’ll be writing soon. Take it slow and safe.
Love ~ Tori
p.s. I hope you enjoy the pictures. Would love to see some of you guys soon!
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